Okuu's Nuclear Nightmare
by Dr. Magnus Feirenbacher
Summary: Okuu's reactor is on the fritz! Can she stop it before Gensokyo is destroyed? Epic Failure of The Touhou project spinoff 1.


**Epic Touhou spin-off 1: Okuu's Nuclear Nightmare.**

**[AN]: Ok, first shot at a spin-off. I just want to clarify one thing. Okuu is one of my favorite Touhou characters. Seconded only to that psychotic exploding vampire, Flandre. This is not a hatefic (In fact, I hate hatefics!), but I'm sure that won't stop some people from thinking it is. Anyway, there's going to be a small bridge between chapter 14 of _An Epic Failure of The Touhou Project_ and the chapter 15 Christmas special. So I wrote a little something to tide you all over :) **

**BTW, I wrote this right after re-reading _Imperfect Metamorphosis_ to celebrate the end of takerfoxx's long hiatus. This was kind of inspired by a certain scene from _the storm: part 4._**

* * *

><p><strong>Reactor<strong>

**3rd person POV**

Okuu was managing my reactor like usual. Satori was having a party that night, and our Nuclear hell raven wanted to go, but the kappa were in the middle of a huge construction project, and needed electricity. So Utsuho was stuck there maintaining everything… Not that she didn't like maintaining the reactor. The large, house-sized machine was like a child to her. This is mainly because it embodied a nuclear reaction much like she did herself.

Okuu was standing at a large control panel which controlled the various functions of the reactor. However she didn't actually need to physically do anything. Her control rod acted as an interface that joined the mind of Utsuho, and the controller for the reactor. There were various monochrome screens on the metal control panel; each with its own unique function. The control platform Okuu was standing on loomed over the artificial display of nuclear fusion. Our bird-brained friend was managing the reactor when this happened:

Various screens were flashing around Okuu. Each displaying technical mumbo-jumbo about the reactor's components, but the one Okuu was focused on was the square plane of glass directly in front of her. It read:

**Core temperature: Normal  
>Hazardous waste levels: Normal<br>Turbine output: 1.21 gigawatts**

WARNING! Toxic gases Detected! Vent gas? y/n

Okuu thought about what to do. "Unyuu… was I supposed to vent gases?... Yes!

The screen now read:

**Venting gases… completed.  
>Checking core temperature…<br>WARNING! Core temperature rising!  
>Open vents? <strong>

Okuu smiled. This was a change to what she had been doing all night so far, and she knew what to do when it happened. "Yes open vents 3 and 4 to~~… 30%" she commanded the machine.

**Working…**

The sound of hydraulic rams moving thick metal plates could be heard throughout the interior of the reactor. It completely drowned out the loud music from Satori's dinner party. When the sound stopped, small shutters placed around the ceiling were slightly opened.

Okuu looked back at the screen. With a happy, innocent smile.

**Vents 3 and 4 opened to 30%  
>checking core temperature…<br>WARNING! Core temperature still increasing!**

The hell raven winced a bit. Opening the vent's to 30% usually worked, but sometimes it didn't, so Okuu opened them to 50%. "Open all vents to 50%!" she declared with a smirk. The whirring of hydraulic rams could be heard once more, but it was much louder this time because of the added vents.

**All vents opened to 50%  
>Checking core temperature…<br>WARNING! Core temperature is rising to dangerous levels!**

"Huh?" Utsuho exclaimed as a red siren started flashing and an alarm* came on. An audible click was heard on the control panel as hooks came out of the panel, and latched onto the control rod's cackling electrodes. "Unyuu…" Utsuho jerked her control rod backwards, but the orange hexagonal rod wouldn't budge. "Hey! Let me go!" She yelled at the machine while tugging on the rod.

**DENIED! Operator cannot leave reactor unattended!  
>CAUTION! Turbine output 3.47 gigawatts<br>CAUTION! Reactor core temperature at dangerous levels!  
>WARNING! Your warranty has just been voided!<strong>

Another screen started flashing to alert Okuu to a problem occurring in its designated system.

**WARNING! Turbine output at 3.48 gigawatts!  
>Voltage regulator at limit!<br>Bring vol-kebefthpfthaztrecaz! **

**_*BOOOOM!*_**

A loud explosion occurred somewhere to Okuu's left. She started panicking and flailing her free arm around as nervous beads of sweat rolled down her face. "GAAAH! What was that!" She looked around at all the other screens which were all flashing. Then focused her attention back on the output monitor.

**ALERT! Voltage regulator gone!  
>voltage at 2375…2485…2633…2978…3220…3503…3-7658932908098322`….1.1.1 _ _ _ _ _ _<strong>

The output monitor shut down as smoke and sparks started rising from an access panel next to it. Okuu used her left arm to shield her face from the mess of sparks and smoke. The smell of burning plastic and silicon penetrated her nose. As she turned her face away from the horrid stench, the hell raven noticed that the fires were only about 1 foot under her platform. As the flames almost seemed to reach out for her; the blinking red siren changed into a solid blood-red light that illuminated every nook and cranny of the chamber, and the alarm changed to a more dire-sounding one.

The distressed hell raven turned back to the panel where all the screens except the center one were turned off. The solid red light gleamed against it's surface as line after line of text showed up on the screen.

**CRITICAL ERROR! Output monitoring system gone!  
>CRITICAL ERROR! Core temperature regulator gone!<br>PERIL! REACTOR CORE AT CRITICAL CONDITION!  
>DO SOMETHIG YOU IDIOt!<strong>

Okuu jumped in shock and started banging on the control panel as smoke poured out of all the cooling vents on the computer. "STOP! STOP! STOP!... Uh… Set core temperature to normal! Start monitor systems! Open all vents to 100%! Help!" Nothing happened as the poor raven pleaded the machine to do something. "C'mon!... HELP! VENT EXAUST! TURN ON COOLING SYSTEM! LET GO OF MEEEEE~!" She pulled on the control rod once again, but then the computer screen flared, and started doing something.

**opeNing aLL vENts tO 100%  
>WorKInG..,<strong>

The Hydraulic operated vents made their usual sound, but after about 3 seconds, they stopped. Utsuho uttered a confused Unyuu as only the blaring sound of the alarm could be heard until the vents creaked. Suddenly, another explosion could be heard, and the vents all slammed closed.

**CrITiCal ErrOr! AlL hyDraUliC sYSTeMs OfFLinE!  
>WaRNinG! CorE MeLtDoWn iMmINeNt!<br>CRiTIcal ERRor! UseR iNtERfaCe lOckEd!  
>cRitIcAL ErRoR! ReaCtOR MaINtEnanCE SySTems oFFlIne!<br>EvaCUatE ImmeDiATelY!**

At this point, poor Okuu had broken down into tears while trying to get the system to respond. "NOOO! DO SOMETHING! *sob* HELP! SATORI-SAMA, HELP!" the temperature in the control chamber now matched the red lighting. The temperature in the room had risen so high, that a human would've spontaneously combusted. "Unyuu…" The alarm slowly died down as the emitter it was coming from melted off the wall.

**MeLTdOwn In 10 secOndS!  
>If yOu are ReaDInG tHis, tHEn PleaSe PraY tO wHaTEvr dEitY YoU woRsHIp, aND HoP DeY AVe MerSEe oN yOuR sOLe.<br>ThaNK yoO 4 ChooZinG RikA cO. AnD kaPah IndUhshTEreezz! H4vv A nIse D4Y.**

**10…9…8…**

Utsuho panicked, and tried activating any attack to try and free herself.

**7…6…5ve…**

She tried to use giga flare, but to no avail. "No *sob* Not like this…"

**4or…thr33**

She closed her eyes and awaited the worst

**2wo…1ne…aYrRor**

The black screen disappeared to reveal a GUI. Utsuho opened one eye when the explosion didn't occur, and saw the screen. Both her eyes snapped open as she exclaimed "WINDOWS VISTA WAS-

**_*!*_**

Unfortunately, Okuu would never be able to finish her statement, because a large explosion engulfed the hell raven and silenced her. Fire blew out of every opening on the metal shell of the reactor and blew apart anything in the shockwave's path. In a fantastic display of pyrotechnics.

* * *

><p><strong>Gensokyo (about 30 before)<strong>

Looking over Gensokyo, one could see all its beauty and grace. The birds were merrily chirping with the sounds of a singing night sparrow, and the leaves were just turning color. A fall wind chilled the air as the Hakurei maiden was enjoying the peace over a cup of tea. She calmly took a sip of tea, but some spilled as the ground quaked and a wailing alarm*** could be heard. Reimu sighed and said "Troublesome…" as she set down her spilled cup.

Suddenly, the ground quaked even more violently, and a pillar of light burst out of the ground near Youkai Mountain. The wave of fire approached the Hakurei shrine as Reimu paled and yelled "What the Fu-

**_*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!"_**

Gensokyo was blanketed with a large wave of fire while the spot where the explosion occurred curved into a huge mushroom cloud.

**The end?...**

* * *

><p>"OPEN THE VENTS!" Utsuho shouted while sitting up in her bed as she woke with a start. Her face was pale, and sweat was running down every surface of her skin. Her heart was beating so fast, it felt like it would explode out of her chest. She quickly felt around herself to confirm that she was alive, and dropped her head back on to her pillow. "Unyuu.*Pant* that was scary…" She silently said to herself as she hugged her legs to her chest while shaking. Okuu's wings, which were folded behind her in a parallel fashion, wrapped around her shivering body; though the cape that drooped over them was absent. The rest of her usual outfit was absent as well. Instead, she was wearing long sleeved dark black cotton pajama top with cosmic designs, and matching cosmic pants.<p>

Orin burst into Okuu's room and back-flipped over to Okuu's bedside. "What's wrong Okuu!" She said with concern.

The startled, yet relived hell raven sighed as she rolled over in her bed to face the concerned kasha. "I just had the scariest nightmare. The reactor started having problems, and there was nothing I could do to stop it!" Utsuho sat up, and tightly wrapped her arms around the cat youkai. "It was so scary~ *sob* and then there was this weird windows called vista. What's a vista? *sob*"

Orin patted the back of the raven's head, and spoke in a motherly tone. "There, let it out. We're all ok."

The two animal youkai sat there for about 20 minutes while Orin comforted Okuu.

* * *

><p><strong>The next night<strong>

Okuu was managing the reactor. Orin was able to calm her down, but the nuclear raven was still a little shaken. She was operating the reactor and doing her job, but occasionally, would shutter as memories of her vivid dream haunted her. The dinner party that Satori had invited Matt, Dan, Rumia, Flandre, and Maria to was underway.

**Power output systems: normal  
>venting gases…<br>WARNING! Core temperature rising to dangerous levels!**

Utsuho's eyes snapped open wide, as she pulled her control rod out of its socket right as metal hooks clamped down where the rod's electrodes used to be a fraction of a second ago.

**DENIED! Operator cannot leave reactor unattended!  
>CAUTION! Turbine output 3.47 gigawatts<strong>

All color drained from Okuu's face as she read the on-screen message. The terrified hell raven frantically waved her arms around as she dreaded what was to come. Suddenly, she realized that un-like her dream; she was able to pull her control rod out of its socket before it locked in place.

With determination in her eyes, Utsuho pointed the cackling orange rod at the blazing fires, and started absorbing the heat into her body. "Unyuu… not today vista windows!" The orange stream of fiery energy halted as Utsuho nodded and turned back to the screen and glared at it. Seemingly knowing what she was thinking, the control console did exactly what she wanted it to do.

**Checking core temperature…  
>Core temperature: normal<br>turbine output: 1.28 gigawatts  
>venting of hazardous gasses complete.<br>Contaminate detected!**

The hooks that should've been wrapped around the electrodes of Okuu's control rod retracted, and Utsuho looked down over the railing of her control platform. She immediately saw the problem, and jumped down to the lowest level to deal with it.

When Utsuho landed, she came face to face with the problem: Dan. "Hey Okuu! I got bored of all the drunken idiots, so I decided to take a look around here. I dropped some holy water by accident. Would that-

** _*WHACK!*_**

Okuu whacked Dan over the head with her control rod. "Get out of here! Your gonna cause a meltdown!" Utsuho screamed with terror in her voice.

"Gah, ok, ok! Bye." Dan stumbled out of the control room while clutching a growing bump on the top of his head.

Okuu sighed. "Oh thank gods!" She rested her hand against her chest, and smiled. After about 2 minutes of peace, Okuu opened her eyes which were now red with new vigor, and control-rod fist-pumped while saying "you are but a small existence compared to the sun Dan, but I have no pity for you." The chipper nuclear bird flew back to her platform to continue her work.

**The End (The real one)**

* * *

><p><strong>[AN]:<strong>

*** The alarm sound is the same one used for Okuu's spell cards in Touhou 12.3**

** **I think the best-fitting alarm here would have to be the tactical nuke from _Modern Warfare 2._**

*** **Ok, THIS alarm is just the classic air-raid warning alarm.**

**So what is the morale of the story? Well… something along the lines of ****Vista**** sucks, or that you shouldn't trust machines to do everything. I don't know, you guys can mak whatever you want out of this one. Well, what do you guys think? I think I did a pretty good job. I apologize if Okuu is a tad OOC, but since when have I not written character a little out of character. References would include _Back to The Future, and an over-used YouTube meme._ I realize I may have taken some liberty with the technical jargon on nuclear reactors. (I plan to go into computer engineering) Anyway, I hope this was enjoyable. Anyway, look out for some more EFTH soon, probably around Christmas. See ya!**


End file.
